Delirium

All I do is talk in verses, meaning and interpretation are left to be decided upon by that undivided mind I expect a reader to have. But it’ll never be clear enough, encapsulated in a dark core, a black hole whose gravitational force is stronger than the speed of light. Nothing to be seen, all is interpretation of the voids I describe with this sick and sarcastic voice.

‘Sing for me,’ my plea into that void.
‘What do you want me to sing?’ the darkness asks me.
‘Soothing words, a song to say goodnight.’
‘Will you sleep?’
‘I intend to.’
‘Are you tired?’
‘No, no, I’m not tired. I just sleep, because I am addicted to my dreams.’
‘And life?’
‘No, it’s never so eventful. I can’t seem to fall asleep anymore, though. That’s why I want you to sing for me…’
‘Basically, you ask me, a space of vast emptiness, for pity?’
‘Yes, I do. Maybe you will understand me.’
‘I won’t. I see a tear in your eye…’
‘It’s from the cold, I…’
‘Nothing more?’
‘No, no, it’s just the cold. My body aches. You wouldn’t happen to have a Xanax for me, would you?’
‘No, I don’t. I have nothing to offer you, and you know it…’
‘And what about my song?’
‘I offer you nothing except for what I am and what you know I stand for.’
‘But I am dependent on you…’
‘That is preposterous, you only depend on the effect of despair and pain I embody.’
‘Can’t one depend on that?’
‘Only someone who asks me to sing a song for him and give him a Xanax.’
‘Which you don’t consider okay?’
‘It shouldn’t be like that. I am by myself because I am conceptualised like that, it’s in my nature. I don’t accept you because of what I am founded on.’
‘Are you capable of change?’
‘If you mean change as an tampering with my definition, then no. I cannot adapt myself to you, because it wouldn’t do me much good. Besides, I’m not really interested in changing it. I have been like this for as long as I can remember.’
‘You used to frighten me.’
‘And you frighten me! Wherever you came, I fled.’
‘True… Please sing me song. Just for tonight?’
‘I’ll sing ‘Everything will be alright’ by The Killers for you. And then I want to be left in peace.’
‘Fine, thank you, thank you…’

The song starts to play.
I doze off into a surreal dreamworld delirium.
And nothing changes.
‘Nothing ever does.’